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The ‘Awkward’ Feminine Mystic

Awkward is funny. (It is usually funniest to those witnessing -not partaking in the awkward situation.) Uncomfortable awkward scenarios is the bread and butter of most sitcoms and romantic comedies. However, some situations can only be fully appreciated by the fairer sex. I encounter these situations with some regularity, but it wasn’t until recently I gave deeper thought to the fact that a guy wouldn’t even notice. With the rise of video confessional style shows like ‘Girl Code’ (and ‘Guy Code’) there is a lot of material available on interpreting how girls think.

As a quick snap shot of my mind (yes, you have need to be afraid) here are some thoughts and potential fears of embarrassment my male peers probably never encounter.

  • What color underwear do I have on today? Is it visible through my skirt/pants/etc? (For most guys, the question of ‘is my underwear clean today’ isn’t of great concern.)
  • That uneasy moment when I notice the toilet seat in the ‘Ladies Room’ was left up. (No, I didn’t fall in.) If it is super early in the day, I can rationalize that it was raised the night before by the cleaning staff, but it always make me take a quick step out and re-read the sign on the door.
  • Controlling ALL bodily functions. Your body is your enemy and is secretly out to embarrass you.
  • Wearing the wrong shoes. I hate being ‘that girl’ that is slowing everyone down by wearing impractical shoes. Oh, I still wear my 3″ heel, I just bend my schedule to eliminate walking so the shoes look fabulous…as I sit at my desk.
  • Catch 22 Motherhood v. Career Conversations. There is no right answer and I feel like a bad person no matter what side I take.
  • The moment after I say ‘my dogs are like my kids’.
  • Age. Wanting to look experienced enough to be taken seriously BUT NOT OLD.
  • Maintaining a smile while someone uses expressions like “your woman” or “old lady”.
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